I love my mania. I am not an aggressive psycho manic, I am excited, peppy and fun. I am creative, outgoing and put everyone around me in a great mood.
I like to think that when I am manic, I am the equivalent of a stable person on the perfect amount of molly, adderall and coke.
As much as I love my mania, that is when the damage happens. I am impulsive, dont sleep, and look for drugs to keep me going and help me come down. At the time, this doesn’t seem like an issue because I feel unstoppable.
I know I can’t function realistically as a full blown manic girl. Well, maybe if life was a never ending party….but it’s not and I do have to work at some point. I hate that mood stabilizers take so much of my awesome qualities away while they get me stable.